Why did the chicken cross the road To get to the gay guys house Knock knock Who is there The chicken!!!!!!

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Who are you if you can rub 2 ice cubes to make fire? Chuck Norris

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What one thing do the five members of Mystery Inc have in common? They were all raped and killed by REAL MONSTERS! One of the monsters happened to be Chuck Norris. He's a BEAST!

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Why is the Holocaust/Worm in your apple joke the highest rated joke on Anti Jokes? Most of the viewers of this website clicked on a thumbs up symbol directly below the joke, which by the coding of this website triggered an algorithm that caused the number adjacent to this thumbs up button to increase and also caused the joke to appear higher on the list of most popular jokes.

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A man walks into a bar. Because he's had a rough day, he asks the barender for a drink. Then another... Then another... (continued) The man walks out of the bar and goes to his car. He starts to drive back to his house. He wobbly makes turns and closes his eyes every 5 seconds or so. He also talks to his boss on his phone for the majority of the ride. Surprisingly enough, he makes it home safely and doesn't harm anyone else despite the large amount he had to drink. He stumbles into his apartment and goes up to his room. He slumps down onto his bed on his back very heavily, causing the room to shake a bit. He opens his eyes, only to find his glass shandelier falling from directly above his face. His body was found by his girlfriend the next morning. I guess there's no real moral to the story then... Maybe it's: You can drink and drive, but don't put a shandelier directly above your bed... I guess? Wow. What are the odds?

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Two scientists are working in a lab. The first one asks, "Do you want some sodium?" The second one pours acid into the first one's eyes.

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What do you call a clock that neither ticks nor tocks? A broken clock

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What's long and hard on a black man? Second Grade

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when trouble come down in your neighborhood who you gonna call? the local law enforcement or another form of personal protection

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Why was the man crying? He just got called and the doctor confirmed he had AIDS.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs ? Same place you left it ...

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how do you get lady gaga to wake up in the morning? Hit her with a brick

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My daughter got a kinder surprise with cool toy today..... i killed her i didnt even want the toy

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what's the diferance between a boner and a lambroghini? I dont have a lambroghini

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How many Mexicans eating a Taco in California does it take to fix a lightbulb? 1

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple.

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what did the kid with no legs gat for her birthday? A soccer ball! I feel bad for this young girl.

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Roses are red. Violets are beer. Kay eckelkamp is in charge here.

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A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks, "Why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus unable to speak or comprehend the complexities of conversation, does not reply and shits on the floor.

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What happens when a black man dies in France? A funeral procession.

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Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because the The husband told her to...

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. There is a frog in his beer.

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What is worst than Justin Bieber new album? Being a jew during the holocaust or aids.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. *Knock knock* "Who's there?" "Not Sally."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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