Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why did the blind kid cross the road... because he was sick of being blind

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's black and white and red all over? Nothing, it is impossible for something to be red all over if there is black and white also.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Whats the difference between a green apple and a red apple? Their colors.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How did the blind man cross the road? With the use of a cane and a registered seeing eye dog

thumb_up thumb_down -15

When Harry met Sally, she slapped him twice without reason, walked away and kept on with her day.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why didnt little timmy finish his test he was eaten by a muslim rhino... .

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Who got sarah pregnant? No one knows. She was a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: Why did you get raped last week? A: Because at night you touch yourself to pictures of rapists.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

An Irish man, an English man, and a Scottish man are standing on the edge of a cliff. The English man and the Scottish man both fall of. The Irish man calls the authorities to alert them of this tragic misfortune.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A black man walks up to a white man, and the black man says YO DIGGITY DAWG WASSAP FO DRIZZLE PLAYA BEEP BOBOTY BOP. And the white man stands there, confused as to what the black man said.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a cat that gets pushed into the pool? Angry as hell.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How do you wake up Lady GaGa you set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the ocean say the other ocean? Nothing, bodies of water are incapable of speech.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How many British people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Two. One to screw in the lightbulb, and one to hold the flashlight because the room is probably dark.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's a word that describes someone annoying, black, starts with an N and ends with a R? Nagger

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why couldn't the little girl swing? She didn't have any limbs.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: What's worse than getting hit by a bus? A: Herpes, AIDS, Diarrhea, Constipation, Castration, Super Herpes, or the song "Friday."

thumb_up thumb_down -17

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down -17

There were 2 strawberries sitting in a bathtub One strawberry said "Hey can you please pass the soap? The other strawberry replies "WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM A TYPEWRITER??"

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had a gun...

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are gay, Violets are gay, I f*cked your mom You have aids.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Jamie stegman put many doodles into his mouth, sometimes 2,3 even 5.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops