whats 1 + 1? 2

Roses are Red Violets are Blue Walt dies in breaking bad.

Why did the... Timmy, your mother and I are both tired.

What happened to the orphan? Who cares?

A duck flies into a bar. The bartender allows it to stay because it turns into a beautiful swan. The goose then lays a golden egg and the bartender stares in awe as a giant bean stalk grows out of the egg. He's ecstatic and really glad he let the flamingo stay with all the wonderful colors and magic going on.

Why did children rejoice when Michael Jackson died? Because they were at a birthday party, and only heard about his death afterward.

What is worse than the holocaust paying taxes

How do you change your dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died. Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because he was to fat. Why did the snake fall out of the tree? I don't know everything, Bitch!

"Is your fridge running?" "Yes, I believe so" "You'd better go make sure, because I put some chicken in there and it didn't seem very cold to me"

So there is a blind man... and he walks past a fish market and takes a deep breath and says"Oh boy it sure does smell like fish out here".

What did the black man say before he went to sleep? im going to sleep

why did the mexican cross the road? to get to the lawn mowing shop becuase his wife has breast cancer, and he cant pay the bills sitting on his butt and getting a check from the government every month

Why can't Michel Jackson play chess? He's dead

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? He didn't, animal control took the dog away from Helen because she could not properly care for the dog.

Why can't Bin laden drive because he's dead

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie roll pop? It would have to take a reasonable amount of licks for enough enzymes in the saliva to breakdown the hard candy part.

two peanuts were walking down the street one was assualted

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was a busy highway it was hit before making it to halfway.

When did joseph the deer learn to fly? - Never, deer can't fly

5 black men walk into a 7-11 at midnight. They clog the all of the toilets in the mens bathroom causing them to over run.

Q: What do sleeping pills and coffee have in common? A: Absolutely nothing

24

Why was the blind man bored? - He was in a coma

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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