How do you stop a black man from drowning? Take your fott off his head.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

why do woman love the twilight books? i have no idea woman can't read

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A man says hello to his best friend in the morning like he always does. Why did his best friend not reply? The mans best friend is not real and is actually a figment of the mans imagination because he has been suffering from a severe case of schizophrenia his whole life and has many imaginary friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

- I got kicked out of the library today. - why? - because I put the women's rights book in the fiction section

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why wasn't the little boy allowed to get a dog? Because the orphanage he lives at doesn't allow dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

why did the baby start crying? because he was very hungry and hadn't been feed all day

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the Fly die? Cause it died the average life span is 30 days.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Charlie Sheen Walks Into a Rehab Center.....

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did Han Solo say to Chewy before they got in the Millennium Falcon? Chewy, get in the ship.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's white and sticky? A stick painted white.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did Sally drop her Ice Cream Cone? Because her dog licked her butthole.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's the similarities between a spoon and a duck. Both are not a lamp

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why can't Larry drive? Larry's a rock.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the farmer say when the potatoes were ready for harvest? The potatoes are ready for harvest.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Want to hear a joke? Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's white and red all over? A white guy who walked in the ghetto.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

what word starts with 'p' and ends in 'orn'? popcorn you sickos

thumb_up thumb_down +27

I once duped this chick with a parrot. Crazy thing wouldn't shut up. The parrot was pretty cool

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Jimmy: I'm like hey, what's up, hello. Jon: I've already met you.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

roses are red violets are blue some poems are good and some don't

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did santa cross the road? He didn't he is not real.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A black man walks down a high street and sees a white woman approaching. He bids her good day and they carry on their respective journeys. He then turns around and follows the white woman and rapes her in a dark alleyway, because as we all know, all black men are rapists.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

how many scrubbers does it take to change a light bulb ? 2 , 1 to change it , and 1 to make it smell piss

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops