Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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why did the clown go to the graveyard? because he was dead

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What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

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Roses are red Violets are blue... Violets are not blue they are actually purple

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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roses are red violets are blue if u wanna fight call 111 ( we r in new zealand)

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Why did the Skyrim guard stop adventuring? He was killed in action and his family misses him terribly.

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Q. What did the toothbrush say to the toothpaste A. Nothing you idiot there inanimate objects they can't talk

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What do homeless people get at Christmas? Cold.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? This joke.

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was dead. Why'd the other monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was stapled to the dead monkey!

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Q: what did the grandmother give to her grandson. A: a lightbulb

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I was hungrey then i saw a man puke. Im still very hungrey. Then i threw up. Im not so hungrey

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why did the baby fall down the stairs? i pushed it.

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How did the failing slut get an A -she studied really hard

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There was a girl who had a dream of becoming a famous movie star. So, after five years of hard work and dedication, she didn't become a famous movie star. Dreams don't always come true. Refrigerators keep things cold.

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Q: What did the cop do when he saw a mexican in his car? A: Nothing, he was looking in a mirror.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Wanna buy some meth.

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This is a haiku. Not a very good haiku, But still a haiku.

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What is square and grey? A grey square.

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whats worse than killing someone? finding out your mom is your dad

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A horse walks into a barn.. The farmer says "why the long face?",This frightens the horse ultimately leads to the farmer getting kicked in the teeth

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A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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