Q.When is a dog, not a dog? A. never

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My name is Dave I like poems Microwave ummmmmmmmm (enter word that rhymes with poems)

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what's an advantage of breaking every bone in your body? nothing, you're screwed.

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saw a free cat yesterday...it was dead on the side of the road

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jack be nimble jack be quick jack is a parapeligic.....there's no need for more

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What's black and white and red all over? An equality parade with a nearby homicide

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A woman woke up next to her husband that was already awake. She said "F*** you" and walked out of the house. On the other side of the world, a horse is giving birth to a chihuahua.

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What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? One if part of the four main food groups, and one is not.

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Q; How does a priest perform an exorcism? A: He doesn't.

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why was the little boy crying? he wasnt, he died 2 weeks ago

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Q: What did the black man say to the other black man? A: Nothing. They didn't know each other.

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A man walks into a bar. What does he say? A: Ow.

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Q:When do you club a newborn baby? A:Whenever you want to because babies are stupid

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Why is the alien dead as a door-nail? Because the door-nail was never alive nor could it ever be dead therefore the alien must have never existed just like the life and death of the door-nail.

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what did the British horse say to the man who owned him? nothing all he sad was neigh.

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MATH: if for every 1 minute for billy is 5 minutes and every 5 minutes is an hour than billy is on acid and needs to come down.

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What's worse than having cancer? Two people having cancer

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Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit! I can talk too!"

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Why is there an owl out during the day? I don't know.

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What kind of people have fat lips? People who have gotten punched in the lip or have suffered a serious lip injury that has caused their lips to swell up.

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a piece of string walks into a bar and the bartender says “sorry we dont serve your kind here” so the string goes outside twists himself round and ruffles up one of his ends then walks back into the bar, the bartender says “aren’t you the piece of string i just kicked out?” the string then replies “i’m a frayed knot”

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How many babies could a cannibal eat? 132/267 of a baby

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Why did the Olympic gold-medalist lose his faith in God? Because he began to feel that the the reasoning that most religions were based on was fairly spurious.

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How do you kill a blonde? You wait until she dies of old age, then copyright her death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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