How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? None, you don't have to be jewish to change a light bulb

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Why is it bad to have 10 blond girls in a closet at the same time? The closet is a very compacted space and one of them is a claustrophobic.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A blind fish.

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That awkward momment when there is no Candy in the Van... <3

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How do you wake up a black man? You stab him in the thigh.

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Roses are red, Violets are microwaves, I have amnesia, Roses are red.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? It needed excitement in its otherwise mundane lifestyle.

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Q: How many black guys does it take to black top a driveway? A: I can't give you a definitive answer unless I know the area to be covered, the thickness of material to be applied, and the capabilities of each individual working that particular day.

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Two scientists are working in a lab. The first one asks, "Do you want some sodium?" The second one pours acid into the first one's eyes.

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My daughter got a kinder surprise with cool toy today..... i killed her i didnt even want the toy

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Why did the muslim cross the road? To blow up a train

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What did the grizzly bears have for lunch? Fish and tourists.

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what starts with F and ends with ead? Fred was walking to school one day when he heard a strange noise in a tree. He walked up to the tree, looked up, and saw a cat. Fred was late for class, so he decided to go to school and help the cat out after school. Eight hours later, Fred came up to the tree and looked up to see if the cat was there. It wasn't. The cat was lying next to the tree, dead.

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when trouble come down in your neighborhood who you gonna call? the local law enforcement or another form of personal protection

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Chuck Norris doesn't do push-ups. He prefers to bench press.

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I violate everyone that do not thumb me green, and vi0late the children, the parents, and the person of those that thumb me red... Its not about the sex, its about the domination... You might even like it...Your kids? Not so much... Well sometimes... Green thumb me, and I will... Meh, then you are awesome... friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: Subscribe below, address tracker activated... LETS GO!

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What did the doctor say to the morbidly obese man? "You should get on a diet. It's a surprise you're even alive for so long with such a bad heart" The next day the man dies while eating celery.

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minorities.....

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What's big and white and can't climb trees? A mattress

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Why did the man remain calm when the judge passed the death sentence? Because he was in another country and had no connection with the case.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house... knock knock who's there the chicken

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why did little johnny start choking? because somebody shoved a bag down his throat

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what do you call an animal thats black and white and red all over? an elephant

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops