A man walks into a bar. He is now passed out on the ground. (TD)

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

why did the depressed man jump off the bridge? He likes bungie jumping, and wanted to cheer himself up by doing one of his favorite hobbies

Jake: Where's Waldo Me: Where? Jake: I don't know

How do you burn Lebron James's house? With fire.

What happened to the young baby after her mother died It grew up got a collage degree and had a great life growing up with her dad and visiting the cemetery every year

What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends what its name is.

John, Where are you John: Here! Where's here? John: nevermind

what did the black guy ge for christmas? a speeding ticket

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it is an animal without a high enough level of intelligence to see the dangers in doing so.

What would be the worst thing to do to Helen Keller? Cut her hands off, as it would destroy her last chance at communication and re-arranging her house so she often fell nub first over chairs.

Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

What's the difference between a melon? One of its halves are both the same.

Q: How many children did it take to screw in a light bulb? A: The light bulb was already screwed in and exploded after excessive tampering

ok

How can you tell Santa is racist? He doesn't give Africans presents.

Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because black people are usually stronger than chicken. If they weren't, chickens would probably eat fried black people.

Why did the girl with a striped ball fall over? She was a victim of a drive-by shooting.

What did the man say to the other man? I have a large rod

Why did the trombone player have sex so often? Because he was hot.

How long does it take you to count to 5? 5 seconds.

my mom died because she was morbidly obese

That dress looks amazing on you considering how fat you are.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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