Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to escape the evil villains in giant mech suits.

What happens if a Muslim leaves their bag on a bus? They quickly return onto the bus and get it.

- Why did the man with the big pocket get arrested in Utah? - Because adultery is illegal in Utah.

How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Mice don't have the strength required to do that.

Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? She was blind.

What's long, hard, and black, and goes into wet things? A submarine.

I see London, I see France. Wow! This high-speed train that travels across Europe is amazing!

A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

Why did the man with no arms or legs fall out of the tree? Because he got shot.

Why are a black man's eyes always bloodshot red after having sex? Pepper spray.

http://www.booksie.com/declan_mckimm

Knock knock. Who's there? Stop fucking around I told you I was coming. I'm sorry. Come in.

Two peanuts were walking down the road. One was assaulted because they were walking in Detroit.

Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? They're really good at it

Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Sorry, what? your door is kind of thick.

What do you call a black man with a peg leg? Disabled

What's more fucked up that the Bill Cosby rape accusations? Sam and Adele's shower time on a Wednesday night

How many dead rats can you put in your ex-girlfriend's bed? 437.

What happens when you cross a Labrador and a Poodle. A species of dog that has been cross bred.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar. The rabbi says "ow my head"

jingle bells jingle bells,, bells were jingled!

Why did a Jewish man have no hair left? He recently got a haircut.

A black person goes up to the drive through at popeye's, what did they say? Nothing, it was closed.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...