What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a grizzly bear in your apple

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Q:what is a wheelchairs biggest fear A: steps

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms

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how do you get lady gaga to wake up in the morning? Hit her with a brick

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Why did the boy get and iphone? It was his birthday

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What did the spider say to the lobster? Nothing, they are enemies and don't live in the same habitat.

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a mus lim walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the mus lim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the mus lim that he's keeping company with a swine, and the mus lim feels offense for the poor horse.

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Q: What's worse than both of your parents dying in a terrible car accident? A: Sitting in the back seat with your grandparents.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. Your definitely a virgin, too bad your mom isn't too.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house No Oh... well he hasn't either

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Roses are brown Violets are brown There is crap in my garden

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whats funnier than a banana an orange -may bieber

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Montague goes to the alcoholics meeting and says "Hello I'm Montague and I am an alcoholic" Evreyone points at him and chants "LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!" Montague is appaled, he expected to be welcomed with sympathy and respect. Then he realises his mistake. He has walked into meeting with a bottle of whisky and is wearing a Justin Beiber T Shirt

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what did the super popular, beautiful girl say to her stalker? i dont know, i wasnt the stalker.

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Why did the African cross the road? Because he was searching for his family after his village was massacred by rebel soldiers.

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why did the boy fly away because his mum shot him out of a cannon

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What do you call a man who can't sing. Untalented and he should probably find a new profession

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Why are black people black? They're not. They're brown you idiot.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasnt due to the fact that numbers have no feeling.

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What's faster than a black man carrying your TV? The law enforcement that promptly catches him and is about to charges him with theft regardless of his ethnicity because stealing someone else's property is just generally an unlawful thing to do.

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What's the difference between Elisabeth Fritzl and Pope John Paul II? Pope John Paul II wasn't imprisoned and raped continuously over a 24 year period in a horrific act of cruelty by his father

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A black man walks into a bar and he orders a margarita. The bartender says that the margaritas are exceptionally delicious in this bar. He was right.

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"If life was fair, I would have a girlfriend" - William Deane

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An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman come across a magic slide. They each decide to take a turn. The Irishman goes first, sliding down and shouting "GOLD!", and finding himself in a pile of gold as he reaches the bottom. The Englishman slides down screaming "SILVER!", and lands in a heap of silver at the bottom. The Scotsman takes his turn, and shouts "WEEEE!" as he slides down. He gets up and realises what a needless waste of a wish his enjoyment cost him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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