OMG, THIS ACTUALLY WORKS!! 1. Hold your breath? for 5 minutes. 2. Die

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A black man a white man and an asian man walk into a bar have a few drinks and on thier drive home run over a three year old little girl and here to month old sister and they go to prison for the rest of thier lives (they shouldn't of let the asian drive)

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why did the car crash? Because the driver was just a box of raisen Brand

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What did the mother do when she found out the baby was stillborn? Gave it a proper burial, grieved for months and became a shell of her former self.

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I was on Skype with a girl yesterday and she asked "Do you want to see something?" "No," I said "my mom's in the room and she might get a bad interpretation." "I really want you to see this." She said. " No, my mom's still in the room, she'll think I'm weird if you turn out the lights." "Darn I really wanted to see your glow in the dark snuggie."

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What did Tyrone Jenkins say when Obama was elected? Nothing. He is not a real person, but merely a hypothetically existent man used only for the portrayal of a lacking punchline.

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What did Luigi say to Mario? You look like a fat Mexican

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what did the chickpea say to the raison when he got called big but? Atleast i dont have a stick up my but.

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How do you make a sandwich? Go into the kitchen and make a sandwich.

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what do u call a man being beaten in the street the cops

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Laugh.

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Q. What happened to the man that kept an open hand? A. He is in jail because he beat his family

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Q-if you are what you eat ,does that make you cannibal? A- yes

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Rose are red, violets are blue, niggas is soft, just like you

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A: knock knock A: knock knock knock... A: door bell

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mangos mandarins mushrooms mustache :{

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You'er moma is so stupied that she climbed over the glass window to see what on the other side

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Q. what has one million arms and tells it to people A.a liar

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what did the boy say to the over weight girl your fat

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What did the dog say to the human? Nothing really. Dogs technically "speak" through barking.

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a black man walked into a black bar. what color was the bar afterwards? the same color. its a drinking spot not a pole

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Your mother is so fat, she appeals to my secret fetish.

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How do you catch a unique animal? You get professional hunters to catch the animal.

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Obama holds the most records for Multikills with Drones. Mu-mu-muuuultiiikilllll.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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