How do you drown a blond? You hold her underwater.

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* Why is this dog barking? * Because he's a dog, if he were a cat it would meow.

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How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot off its neck.

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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how do you scare a deaf person? you yawn

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? -- Because it was dead Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -- Because it was stapled to the squirrel

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Two strawberries are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other, "Can you pass the soap?" The other one says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?!"

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A man walks into a haunted house and screams. He had arrows on a nail.

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How do you make a clown happy then sad? You give him pot then shoot him in the foot

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A duck walks into a bar. In the middle of writing this joke I realized that there were already jokes like this so I stopped writing this one.

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Person 1: "Broo my dicks like 19 inches!" Person 2: "Thas not healthy, an erection that big will deprive your brain of too much blood and kill you."

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Q)what do you call a homless a man ?? A) dunno ask him what his name it (LOL RANDOMZZZ)

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Why did they use the phone as a football? Because it was a phone-ball.

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My friend thinks he's smart, He said that onions are the only food that make you cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.

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WHAT DYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE MEAN YE DON'T KNOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW?

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I used to be schizophrenic, but we're ok now.

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Ben: Something smells like updog. Jenny: What's updog? Ben: Nothin' much

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Why did I post a joke on this website? Because I felt like it.

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Blah blah something about Ryan Dunn.

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he was on his wheelchair.

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What's the difference between a horse and a gorilla? Their penis size. Horses have relatively large penises, while gorillas are known to have the smallest penises proportional to their body size.

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Theres an irishman , scottish man and a welsh man on a plane they where going to france

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Brett Favre sent me a pic of his penis. I then compared it to my own and felt good about my general ackage size

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Oranges can't talk therefore this is not a accurate accusation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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