What's Green and has Wheels? Ian Leighton... I LIED ABOUT THE GREEN

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What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? A Ferrari was never alive.

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Jack just got his new yellow bicycle. His dad got it for his 12th anniversary. Jack was ecstatic to ride it down his street for the first time. He immediately called his friends Paul and Erick and went for his first ride. The neighbors were in AWE when they saw Jack taking off on his new ride. That day the three friends had one of the best day of their young lives, they went up to the lake, had some peanut ice cream and made fun of Alexia. Jack was in love with his new bike and euphoric that they were reunited and did all their favorite things with an incredible amount of passion. Erick hated his new bike.

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Why did the black man go to prison? He was visiting his client to give him legal advice.

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Why was Barack Obama wearing a Justin Bieber T-Shirt and slapping you with a pitchfork? Because you didn't listen to me when I told you to stop doing shrooms

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

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Once, a woman told her son to be a peach and fetch some sugar. Little did she know that a genie heard her. The next day, she was horrified to find her son gone and a peach in his bed.

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How do you enter a gas station? Through the front door

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what do a toothbrush and an ice maker have in common? ....They're both in your house.

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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What's red and round? A red and round solid.

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Why did the black man drown? Because he didn't wait 30 minutes after eating.

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Two birds were sitting on a perch, one turned and said to the other, "Do you smell fish?"

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Lindsay Lohan

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roses are black, violets are black, im dead.

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Why did the black woman have an affair? Because she had an unsatisfying sex life, her old husband was boring, and she was curious about being with other men.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One asks the other "Isn't it hot in here?" To which the other replies, "Holy ****, a talking muffin!"

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Killing people is not illegal just ask a soldier

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How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

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Who ever invented the "Knock- Knock jokes" should get a "No-bell prize"

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Knock Knock who's there? Steve Steve who? Steve. I already told you my name.

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What did the angry asian man do after he crashed his car? He died of serious head trauma and internal bleeding.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he was told he would never find a wife

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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