roses are red violets are red? trees are red!? who the hell cut themselves?

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what did one mute say to the other? Nothing.

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how many Ethiopians can you fit in a bathtub? all of them.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Gastapo

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What did the litlle boy get for christmas? The toy which he could only dream about. His father got cancer.

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Hey! Have you ever heard of the Alzheimers joke?

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why was six afraid of seven? it's a long story, and six doesn't want to talk about it.

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An atheist and a priest agree to a public debate. The priest doesn't make much of an attempt to argue because there is a young boy in his podium giving him a handjob.

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What do you give a man who has everything? Syphilis

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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How many blonds douse it take to change a light bulb I dont know it hasn't happened yet

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A Scotsman, an Irishman and an Englishman walk into a bar... They enjoy their drinks and leave.

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How does a man with no legs cross a road? In his wheelchair.

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What's funnier than a fat person falling nothing is

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they're dead. idiot.

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it smells like up dog in here. whats that?

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the mountains? A: Bear food.

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*Guy and Jar of Chunky Peanut Butter* Guy; "Hey you're chunky" Peanut Butter; "I know"

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why is ur dad an alcoholic? he drinks a lot of alcohol

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Easy, you get a phone with a recorder that rather than playing a "please leave a message after the tone", plays the same tune as if the phone was still not picked up. Now tell me here and now, because I wont waste more time on you, what part did you play in this? Jenny Chatterton? Another one of your pseudonyms? What the fuck did you think would happen? You live in the Uk, london, so, tell me everything, or I will share every single detail here.

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What did the police officer say to the bank robber? You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to speak to an attorney, and to have an attorney present during any questioning. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be provided for you at government expense.

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Slug on ya tooth Gavin David Newman

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What do you get if you cross a football with Theo Walcott? A goal kick.

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What's the difference between a horse and a chicken? They're different species and also the chicken is female, while the horse I was referring to is male.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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