Why did the Jews go into the shower? Because they had just finish a basketball game and they needed to freshen up.

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Try this on some random person on the street... You: "Excuse me sir, do you know how to get to Farnsworth Street?" Man: "Sorry, no" You: "OK, you go straight ahead, then turn left on the second street. Continue about 200 feet, then......"

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Q: How do you get a giraffe into a refrigerator? A: You open the door put the giraffe in and the close the door. Q: How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? A: You open the door to the refrigerator take the giraffe out then put the elephant in and close the door. Q: The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend but one, which one is it? A: The elephant it's in the fridge Q: You have to cross a river that is inhabited by crocodiles how do you cross it? A: You swim across, the crocodiles are at the animal conference.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." Then there is silence and a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone the guy says "I shot in the air and my friend heard it and moved. I think he's still alive." The operator says "Good that means he's still breathing and he's not dead."

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An Irishman and an Englishman are in a bar. Suddenly a wild Dragonite attacks. The Englishman promptly catches the pokemon and continues to enjoy his drink with his Irish friend.

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An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

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Friends are like trees, they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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Roses are red Violets are blue The last time I saw your mom I made you

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why did the 11 year old boy stick his hand in a lawnmower nobody knows he hasnt come out of the coma yet

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a blond makes out with ron every sunday and she stops every time to remember that she put the cheese in the wrong compartment brick house cheese is sad!

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an object in motion continues to stay in motion unless acted upon by an external force :)

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How do you fit a giraffe into a refrigerator? You cut it into pieces.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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Knock, Knock! Who`s there? Your mama`s stupid! Your mama`s stupid who? Your mama`s stupid as a rock! I` m going to cut your eyes out and use them as baseballs!

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If I were in a room with you hitler, stalin, i would shoot hitler and stalin because they are horrible people.

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In Soviet Russia you don't drive car, because the Soviet Union was disbanded in 1991

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Why did the stoner visit anti-joke.com? Because he was bored, and probably kinda high.

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James walks into a room he then leaves as the room is full of hot women but he does not find them attractive as he has a girlfriend and is also bisexual.

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Roses are black Violets are black I would love to see A knife in ur back

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What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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Q: Why did the man die of starvation??? A: He didn't eat for 3 days!!

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What do porn stars do after they retire? No clue but some idiot made a movie about it.

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What's the worse thing O.J. Simpson has gotten away with? Running a red light

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How Do You Fart Eat Beans

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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