Yo Mama just died.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Herpes. Bummer.

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what did the doctor say to another doctor? we are doctors

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COME HERE, POTTER!!!! NOW!!! Instead of agreeing to approach the source of the rather hostile summoning, Potter decided to sit down and eat a healthy vegetarian lunch of sausages and chips.

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what you get time to go with? - a clock

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What goes up but never comes down? This dick

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What's black and yellow and flies? I dont know.

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wats green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree, it would kill u? a pool table

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I'll take a Reuben, light sauce, and could you do Provolone instead of Swiss?

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what did the chinese man say to the other asian? he said ??????

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Q: What happens when two planes both crush a tower in New York City? A: Bad news.

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What would you do when pigs fly? Pigs cannot fly, therefore this question is impractical.

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Q. Why did uncle Al die of smoking? A. His socks were to big -Noah Weisskopf

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Q:why did the man jump of the house A:he did not I threw a frige at him

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What's heed and has wheels? Your mom.

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What ryhmes with turtle rape

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How do you stop a black man from committing a crime? You throw him a basket ball.

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Why are Chinese women such bad drivers? Only company executives are fortunate enough to own cars in communist China. Furthermore, women are still in a subordinate class in many Eastern societies.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house..... knock knock! whos there? THE CHICKEN!!

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What do you call a fat cat? Nothing if you are a good person

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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When life gives you lemons.... Don't eat them, because you're probable hallucinating, and you don't know where they came from.

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Q: Why Cant The T-Rex Clap? A: No, Its Not Because His arms are to short, Its because he's Dead You Idiot...

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penis likes vagina cuz its straight (get it?? it has an erection!!!!!!)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops