- Anti Joke

There are two muffins in an oven. Since they are inanimate objects, they do nothing but sit there and bake until they are a golden brown color, at which point a man takes them out of the oven and eats them for breakfast.

What do 69 and carpets have in common ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????1?2?3?4?5?6?7?8?9?0?????????#???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????©®™????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? Nothing

Q: which of the following is a prime number? A: 17

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing he died.

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

What did the twin towers order from the pizzeria? Two large Plane

Why was the Mexican stopped at the border? He forgot his passport.

Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

Q.If I have four apples and billy has 4 oranges, how many pancakes will fit on the roof. A. 3 because aliens like purple hats.

A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve you kind here." The black man says, "Is it because I'm black?" The bartender replies, "Yes."

Why couldn't the little girl see in the dark? She had no eyes.

How do you kill a blonde? Drench her in fluoroantimonic acid and watch her explode in a violent and gruesome death.

What's the difference between a banana and a monkey? They're both yellow, except the monkey

Your momas so fat her doctor put her on a diet plan.

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What is meant by the term 'Biological control''? Not ending up on the Jeremy Kyle Show.

A baby seal walks into a club.

A man walks into a store with a faulty washing machine. He provides a valid guarantee receipt at the customer service desk and it is replaced without an issue

How do you get a baby to start crying? Drop a brick on it. How do you get it to stop crying? Drop two bricks on it.

Why are watermelons green? 9, because cows like to eat grass.

A month after the nuclear bombing of Hiroshima, a typhoon hit the city killing another 2,000 people.

If a white person and black person have a baby, what colour is the baby? Grey

Two Chav's jump off a cliff who wins? Neither, the affects of gravity are equal despite the weight of said object.

An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walked into a bar. The Englishman ordered a lager, the Irishman ordered a Guiness, and the Scotsman ordered tap water.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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