Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he...

What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

why did the cow say baaaaa ? it was a stupid cow

roses are red violet are blue what are you gonna do when chuck norris find you

Q.How many babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb A.Babies are to young to screw in lightbulbs

Why do depressed people like sharp knives? Cause there good for cutting Salad

I had a quad when I was in high school, she was pretty but it was hard to get her out of the wheelchair.

Why is the redneck crying? They died of diabeetus.

What did the black guy say in the phone? Hello

You know that song "FIrework" by Katy Perry? Well, I ate a hotdog last night.

Why was Timmy strong? Because his dad injected steroids through his asshole.

A guy walks into a bar and says, "I'm Japanese". The guy at the counter says "What a coincidence! I am Japanese too." He gets seated and the guy next to him says, "I'm Japanese too." The bar is in Japan.

What's the hardest part about watching a 2 year old get hit by a bus is? Trying not to laugh.

so three men walk into a bar and one is a priest.

Knock knock who's there? the police, your under arrest the police your under arrest who? BAM! sir, I'm placing you under arrest for the murder of your wife, anything you say or do can be used against you. IT WASN'T ME!!!! yeah yeah tell it the judge

What do you call a man with a spade in his head? Dead.

My mom told me to shut up because I was screaming as I was strangled.

. . I am a whale

Why did the drunk driver get into an accident? It was a woman.

Is your refrigerator running? If so, you are on drugs, and should see help.

What's black, white, and red all over? A dead panda.

A dog was barking at a tree

What's the square root of yo mama? That which when multiplied by itself equals yo mama.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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