a man checks his brand new cellphone to see if he has a text message... He has cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why did the baby fall down the steps? Because there was big earth quake that blocked his parents on the other side of the house, therefor leaving no one capable of getting to him befor falling

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you do when a blonde takes the pin out of a grenade and throws it at you? Take cover as there is a person close to you wielding an active grenade.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what dyu call a jew on the moon? a problem. what dyu call ten jews on the moon? a bigger problem. what dyu call all the jews on the moon? problem solved.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock knock? Who's there? Llama. Llama who? Llamas aren't racist unlike that bastard Ann Coulter. That's why they can get a carrot up the ass and she can't.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

When Chuck Norris dives into a pool... he gets wet due to the aqueous nature of the water

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A. Treadmil

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's green, smelly, and in a swamp? Casey Anthony's Baby

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the black man get a zero on his SAT? He was up so late helping orphans with disabilities that he fell asleep during the test.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the user is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why was Timmy's hair shaved? He had cancer and was going though Chemo.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why did the girl fall down someone threw four monkeys and a refrigerator at her

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is the differnece between the chair and the pot? You can't cook in the chair.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Hai Patrick Hai Patrick

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: What do you call a dear with no eyes A: Nothing - call an animal cruelty service

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why are all the dinosaurs extinct? Because you touch yourself at night,

thumb_up thumb_down -6

phil - "honey, why is the picture quality so bad" Phil was watching a toaster

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the chicken cross the road? Rhetorical question.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Where do cows go to have fun? Cows don't have a concept of fun as such, but they would probably go to a large, sunny field full of lush, green grass with a bubbling river and plenty of shade.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

If you are reading this you will soon suffer a slow and painful blow job... -_-

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why did billy fall down? Because he is mentaly retarted and was just plain stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops