Roses are red Violets are blue I have a penis and a knife choose which one goes in you.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor

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What did Batman say to When they were heading to the Batmobile Robin get in the batmobile.

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what do you get when you cross a daniel lesiak with nothing?

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why was the kid sitting in a wooden chair? Because at the early age of four he was diagnosed with cancer and genital warts!

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Why did the girl stop smoking? Because her mum asked her to.

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how do you stop a rhino from charging? you shoot it with a gun until it's either dead or no longer charging at you because thats a highly dangerous situation.

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Why was the boy walking in circles? One of his feet was nailed to the floor...

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Do gingers have souls ? No, Gingers are a myth made up in the 13th centuary to scare little kids.

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Knock knock Who's there? Interrupting doctor. Interrupting doct- You have cancer.

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What looks good hanging from trees? Spanish moss.

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How do you make a plumber cry You kill it's family

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Q: Why couldn't Billy breathe? A: Because when the truck ran over him his lungs were crushed.

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YOUR MOTHER IS SO FAT that she sought a relevant support group. My understanding is that she tried Overeater's Anonymous and lost a few pounds, but it meant more that it improved her sense of self-worth. She's more comfortable with herself as a somewhat overweight woman, and a much happier person now. We're all very proud of her.

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what is Stephen Hawking's condom brand called? Anti-Virus

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Why did the flight attendant look scared every time every time she saw a muslim get on the airplane? Because her family got murdered in front of her before she came to work

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothin. You already told her twice.

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What would happen if you put avocando, pineapple, sardines, peanut butter, brussel sprouts and milk into a blender and drank it. most probabley salmonala poisoning because the sardines were off.

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Whats small white and has a hole in it? A powdered Donut

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Who wants water? I do.

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roses are red unless they are the pink ones oh yeah they're also pretty expensive

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What did Kermit the frog say at Jim Henson's funeral? Nothing.

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how do you confuse a brunette? paint yourself red and throw a fridge at her

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops