Why did the submarine crash? Someone opened the window

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What did the Jewish kid get for Christmas? Nothing, Jews don't celebrate Christmas.

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What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing they just waved

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roses are red violets are blue

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People...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate you, Go die in a hole.

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joke under this line wins _________________________

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I woke up this morning and ran five miles. I am proud of myself for engaging in such a healthy lifestyle.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one says "Boy, it sure is hot in here." The second one says "Holly shit! A talking muffin!" As muffins generally don't talk.

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What's black and white and red all over? The dead kitten on the road.

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shirt and blue, i call this one snow white, to score and seven years a jo, six samurai kageki, coral, 50 piece, specific frame, whats with that one, amy, hoption, smell my butt, smell my balls, smell my fart, smell my poop, urgay

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Why did the woman spend all her time in the kitchen? For fear of her abusive husband.

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Q: What's blue and fuzzy? A: Blue fuzz

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What Did Charles Manson Do For a Klondike Bar? He Bought One

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What do you call a black guy that steals a car? A father desperate to save his dying son who doesn't have a car to drive to a hospital

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A blind man walks into a bar----b wire

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I've been hearing a lot of Jew jokes lately, Anne Frankly I'm sick off it.

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Why did the chicken crose the rode? Because there was a 10 foot scorpion chaseing it

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Whats black and can multitask? My IPod you racist!

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Where can I apply for janitor school?

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Why couldnt Hellen Keller drive? Because vehicles werent invented yet.

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Why did the man sit on the chair? Because he was tired of standing

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whats wooden and hard a wooden floor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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