Q: What did the boy do when his mom asked him to put away his clothes? A: Yes. PS: If that wasn't funny to you, then go f**k off. You clearly don't have any sence of humor and you should see someone about that, like a mental health doctor.

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Why did the black man run out of the shop with items under his jacket? He was shopping for groceries, when his brother texted him, letting him know that his wife had just gone into labour. He then realised that it was a very miserable rainy day outside and he didn't have an umbarella, so he payed for his items, and ran to his car.

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A deaf man walks into a bar. Minutes later, cops come in and arrests the poor man for not paying his bill while the deaf man sits at the bar calmly drinks his beer.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Cindy Cindy who? Cindy your neighbor. I was wondering if I could borrow some milk, I ran out.

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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What did the cat say to the bird? Nothing. It's a cat.

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Why did little Bobby put a firecracker in the dog's ass? Don't worry he used lube.

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a horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks why the long face? the horse, incapable of understanding any human dialect, promptly shits on the floor and leaves

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, that was a turkey. Oh.

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Dead girls can't say no.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic and so am i

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Knock, knock Who's there? I'm there.

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knock knock who's there? doorbell repairman

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Roses are red violets are blue im a schizophrenic and i am too.

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What would George Washington be doing if he was alive today? Scratching and screaming at the bottom of his coffin.

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What's black and white and red all over? Michael Jackson after his operation.

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You Mom is so ugly, It makes sense why you always have that look on your face!

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Q: What do you call a black guy with his degree in dentistry? A: Doctor

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Why is Bruce Wayne named Batman and Tim Drake named Robin? They wanted to hunt bats and robins whenever someone does something bad.

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How many apple does it take to turn a fridge into a water buffalo? Yellow tactics because of the Minty fragrance

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What's the worse thing O.J. Simpson has gotten away with? Running a red light

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Why did the man fall over? He was blind.

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So a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order some wine and have an enjoyable evening.

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-Ask me if I'm a tree. +Are you a tree? -Yes. -Ask me if I'm an orange. +Are you an orange? -No, I'm a tree, were you listening me?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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