Why did Bob the Builder die? He had cancer.

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A guy finds a lamp in the desert and rubs it 3 times.. No genie appears because there is no such thing as Magic.

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what did the doctor say to the wery fat man? you have diabetes

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Yo momma so ugly, she couldn't fulfill her dream of being a model.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a cow moo

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What noise annoys a noisy oyster? Hispanics with their loud car stereos.

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Q: Why did your mom cross the street? A: Because she was so ugly that she fell off both sides of the bed

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Oh NOES! She does worry about me! YOU MUST APOLOGIZE! Relax, the body has two sources of happy drugs, one is the sweet calm stuff I am really bad at, and the other comes with adrenaline and stuff, the name of which I do not remember, both are important, but yeah, I am a thrill seeker, and when I do not find them, I make a thrill out of whatever I got, whatever that means.

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what do you call 3 mexicans in the back of a car? Carpooling to work to save on gas.

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adele is so fat that when shes on a plane she makes the skyfall

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

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Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO? A: One is a human while the other is an unidentified flying object.

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What's the difference between a guitar and a fish? Fish are living organisms and guitars are instruments used for people's entertainment

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What is pink, red and silver and crawls into walls? A baby with forks in it's eyes

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Why did the african kid die He was mauled by a tiger in a zoo

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What's bigger than China and Smaller than my penis? Russia and a smaller penis.

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What do you call a green blur in the sky? Super pickle?

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Why didn't Suzie Fall off the Swings? She Has no legs and couldn't get on

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What is BIG, STIFF, AND FULL OF SEMEN!!!? A SUBMARINE!!!!!!!

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A man and a Rabbit are in a bar , the Rabbit looks at the man and says, none of this is real.

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Knock knock Who's there? Mike Mike who? Mike Davis from across the street. Come in.

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why did the chicken cross the road who's there and the man died of cancer congradulations! your preganant

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A Christian and an atheist are in a bar. Neither one knows the other's religion and they continue to drink.

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What did the Jew get for Christmas ....... An ashtray

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops