why did jimmy stop eating his breakfast two Penn state officials knocked at the door

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Roses are red...

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Why do blonde girls like penis? Because it tastes good

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What's as hard as rock and as light as a feather? Any object in the space, once the lack of gravity makes atoms to have not weight, since mass x gravity equals to weight.

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There's a black man and a mexican in a car who's driving ? The black man because the mexican is intoxicated and they both want to prevent serious injury or death

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How much hard work does it take to become a man? To get to the other side!

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A man is working at a bar. He feels a fly graze his left index finger, which has become a bit sweaty. The man rubs the finger for a moment, then continues to slice grapes for a customers synthetic japanese glue farm.

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What did the butler say to the guest while his master is in the bathroom? Butler: "Sir, will you wait while the Master bathes?" Guest: "How long will he be, I'm quite busy!" Butler: "He shouldn't be long sir, he should be finishing up now."

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What does the kitty say to his owner? you've CAT to KITTEN right MEOW

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A lysdexic man tries to spell rentally metarded.

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In Soviet Russia, millions die under an oppressive and uncaring regime that uses communism to justify its inhumane policies.

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ermm Hello ? what about me says rishi with a tear down his eye

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What is furry, red, and flat? Road kill.

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A Mexican, German, and a black man walk into a bar... They promptly exit due to the access amount of tobacco fumes in the air.

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What do you get when you mix red and yellow together? rellow

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What do you call a black man on a rope swing? Usually whatever his first name is, but if he goes by a nickname you should use that

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What has hands but isn't alive? A dead person.

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What's worse then 10 babies nailed to 10 trees? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees

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I got put through anger management when I was a child it made me mad.

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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked

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I went up to my friend and she said to me, "Foop." I calmly went to the nearest teacher and told her that Susie is having a mental breakdown again

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there once was a little boy who lived in a little house with his little parents who ate little food. one day the boy went on a website called antijokes and he started to read a joke, by the time he had gotten to the end of the joke he realized that there was no punchline but it was very lenghty and quite pointless.

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A fat man orders a pizza. Then after eating it, he gets a eart attack due to his high cholesterol and lack of exercise

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Why did the man wipe his bum with a sweat-shirt? Because they were all out of toilet paper

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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