What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? Get on the ship.

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what is the difference between my pubes and my actualy hair on my head.... my pubes didnt fall off when i went trough chemo

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what is green and smells bad? an orange dolphin that poops out rainbows.

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Yo mamas so fat she is obese

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What's white and yellow with red all over? Vietnam War

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What's worse than having you're leg fall asleep? Getting Polio

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a pile of shit. I don't have a pile of shit in my garage.

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What did the blonde call her pet zebra? Isaac

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a shovel 17 times

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.

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How did Bob survive the plane crash? He didn't

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Autism... is not funny at all, it is a serious issue in today's day and age and must be addressed and cured

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Cancer what did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that long.

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Want to hear a joke? No.

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Why did the redneck leave his wife? To marry his daughter.

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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Mice don't have the strength required to do that.

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An Asian, white, and a black man decide to play Russian Roulette. The Asian goes first and shoots himself in the head. The white man picks up the gun for his turn. The black man runs down the street screaming. Cops see him and the white man holding the gun, both are sent to jail for life for the murder of their friend.

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Whats worse than finding a repeated joke on anti-joke? Nothing.

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There were two mufins in an oven. They did not say anything because muffins are incapable of speech.

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So, two people park their car and walk into a bar. Wait, no. They were walking into a grocery store and they were riding skateboards, not a car. Then, the kid walks in after them. Oh, did I forget to mention they had children? And also, they're married. So anyway, they walk into this grocery store, and meet a barkeep. Wait no that's ridiculous why would a barkeep be in a grocery store. Let me start over. Bah.. never mind. I forgot what happened next, but it was REALLY FUNNY!

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? lts of stuff like murder, rape, slavery, poverty, mindcontrol, mass genocide, the holocaust, racism, plagarism, physichal assault, war, terrorism, massacres, onsloughts, necrophillia, the dead rising, zombies, jokes on antijokes.com, awkward situations, dieing, cancer, ADHD, other mental illnesses, paint, the grim reaper, shinigami, stereotyping foreigners, prejudicism, bullying, armed robbery, hacking, viruses, incest, feral animals, getting lost in the forest, arsonry, pyromania, passing out in a bar, meeting a serial killer, and finding 2 worms in your apple.

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What did the Johhny say to the black man when he saw him buying a watermelon? Nothing, Johnny is mute.

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What did the man with cancer say when he got hit in the face with a crowbar? "Ow."

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Why is Kim Jong Un so horrible? I forgot the rest of the joke but your mum is a whore

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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