What's worse than getting Alzheimer's? ........what am I doing here.....

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The night is always darkest just before the dawn. Just kidding I'm Helen Keller, everything's always dark.

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who did the strait guy marry? a woman

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What's green and has wheels? A cucumber with wheels.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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So a priest and an atheist sit next to eachother train After talking to eachother for a short period of time, the priest discovers the other man's beliefs and procededs to spend the rest of the ride trying to convert the atheist. Incredibly irritated the atheist gets off the train a stop early to escape the tirade. The next day the atheist sees on tv that the train crashed right after getting off, and the priest is listed amongst the people killed in the accident. He is ecstatic, and says to himself "ha, proof of divine retribution," but then he feels confused because he realizes he doesn't believe in a god...

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How many republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Typically only one, though more may be required under extreme conditions.

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i'm a loser with body odor.. plus i play pokemon to pass the time because reality is just to horrible to face. guess who? josh wood.

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I'm so popular... That I am friends with many people...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Suisidal

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On a scale of one to 10, F*ck yourself.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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what has legs but can't walk? a paraplegic

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2 guys walk into a bar, a third guy carefully ducks under it

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A man goes to the doctor complaining of pain. Everywhere I touch it hurts, he tells the doctor. "The cancer has spread," the doctor says. "Go home and spend your last days with your loved ones."

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Where did all the time go? In a recent study, 100% of all time, all systems go.

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What’s brown, sticky and smells like poo? Shit!!

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what is the difference of left and right? i used my right hand to stab your mother.

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One says "boy it sure is hot in here." The other says,"yeah like 350-375"

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What did the African boy get for his Christmas present for the first time? Leprosy

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What is black and white and red all over? A zebra that has been shot, because poaching is quite common in many African savannas.

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Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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what do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names.

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Chikin nuggets

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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