Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up? She had no legs.

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Q: What's worse than finding a shrimp platter on a babys hand. A: A baby's hand on a shrimp platter

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Timmy had to use the restroom in class one day, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I use the restroom?" The teacher said, "I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said'," When I was using 'can', I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier for asking for permission, as opposed to expressing ability. I though since you were a teacher you would know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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A priest was walking home from church one day when he found a young boy crouching naked in the bushes. The priest contacted local law enforcement authorities on his cell phone and proceeded home once they arrived.

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what did the bartender say to the customer? a. is it the first option b. is it the second option c. is it the third option.

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A guy walks into a bar and is promptly escorted out because he is only 19 years old.

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Here is a nursery rhyme: Jane is a scruff, she has a head full of nits. She also had pain in her great big... Now don't get excited. Don't be mislead. Because all that Jane had was a pain in her head!

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How do you attach a nipple tassle to a purple honey badger? Refridgerator

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What do u call a man who is smart. A lawyer/ genius/ smart man

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? -Because it was dead Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? -Because it was stapled to the first koala

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Wh ydo i Hate you? 'COs Your a Gimp!

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Q:When a T- Rex walks into your house what does it mean? A: Your on pot, T-rex's are extinct

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Knock Knock Knockin on heavens door..

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When life gives you lemonade, give life lemons and it'll be like WTF?!

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Humpty dumpty sat on a wall Humpty dumpty ha a great fall Hunpty dumpty's skull was split in two

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What did the vegitarian order for brunch. VEGITARIANS DONT BELIEVE IN ICE CREAM>

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The chicken crossed the road.

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What did the previously pregnant teen flush down the toilet? Her beloved pet goldfish who recently died. She had already given birth to a healthy baby the previous year.

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why did the Chinese guy take steroids? He didn't he's naturally small.

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

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A cow walks down the stairs. Not really. They are incapable of walking down stairs. It actually died on the roof.

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Why did the boy spill his lemonade? He was attacked by ravage dogs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops