A teacher, a consturction worker, and an army general are on an airplane. The pilot tells them the plane has too much weight, and if they don't each drop one item then the plane will crash. Realizing one item each is obviously not enough weight to throw off, the teacher and the construction worker team up and throw the army genral off the plane. They land safely, and live the rest of their life haunted by their vile actions.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What do you say to a rock? Meow

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Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy This song doesn't rhyme PENIS

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I'm sorry sally your grandmother is dead. LOL _ grandpa Laugh out loud!. I can't belive you. I thought it meant lots of love Grandpa-ha funny mistake though right?

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How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved.

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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What's worse than failing an exam? Failing two exams.

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What did one lawyer say to the other? Your son's coming to my son's birthday party, right?

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knock knock whos there make up make up who hahahaha you said make a poo

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Why did the boy fail the test? He had down syndrome.

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Grace Ackerson

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Q- what's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A- you take of your shoes to jump on a trampoline

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Why did the dog lick his balls? Because he can.

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I ounce had a parrot it talked buy never said im hungry so it died

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Roses? are red Violets are blue, Kangaroos like Oranges, Poems suck, Refrigerator.

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So a Buddhist said, "YOLO." ._.

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What is 6 1/2 inches when erected? My penis.

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Q: What happens when you sit in the middle of the road? A: You get hit by a car and die a horrible death as your family members mourn in the loss and remain sad forever.

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: (sigh) Did what hurt? Boy: When you broke through the Earth's crust emerging from hell.

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what did the crow say do the dead gazelle? - nothing the crow ate it

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Mahjdichdhsjxidjhsbxu shcowiqx own hdqu Hedgehog the third

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What's a lil plus a lot A little more then a lot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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