Why did the father and his son drop their cola? Because a meteor hit and killed all life on Planet Earth.

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Why did the car catch fire? It was parked in Ferguson, MO

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A man asks his doctor if you can die from drinking to much water. The doctor replies 'Yes you can'

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What happened to Timmy went to get ice cream from the ice cream truck? He was raped and never seen again, his family now mourns there loss

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What do you call a Muslim on a plane? A passenger, you racist bastard.

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What did i say to the stupid person? Your Stupid.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was suicidal.

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http://www.google.com/imgres?q=harry+styles+funny&hl=en&safe=active&biw=1024&bih=398&gbv=2&tbm=isch&tbnid=lc8_fNCatYHOqM:&imgrefurl=http://www.vervegirl.com/harry-being-typical-harry/&docid=86Gw8eNJ73tOYM&imgurl=http://www.vervegirl.com/cms/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/harry-styles-300.jpg&w=300&h=400&ei=q4vHT9XwHYL48gSJoJzJDw&zoom=1

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How many fish fingers does it take to change a lightbulb? Five.

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. One muffin turns to the second and says, "Is it hot in here or is it just me?" The second muffin replies, "Holy crap a talking muffin!"

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non poop

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Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

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Why did peter fall off his bike? Because Peter is a goldfish.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He actually planned to visit his family on the other side, but unfortunately he did not look both ways so was involved in a terrible car accident. His family now mourns their loss.

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

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What's worst then a parking ticket? The plague

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Jay Z: a guy eats a gluten free pickle flavored cupcake, what happened? Will ferell: no one knows what it means! It's provocative!!

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Why did the elephant fall out of the tree Because the post man threw a fridge at it

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What is a Mexicans favorite sport? Tennis.

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What'd the black woman say when she met her husband's white mistress? Have you seen Jamal's socks?

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Why the bird can't fly? Because i cutt off his wings.

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HOREY SHIT!! OMFG!! I win? Yeah I think so.. Wait. Why am I talking to myself.. Aww not again.. My doctor warned me about this.. D:

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why did the plane crash ? Because a loaf of brad was flying it, and Loaves of bread don't fly planes

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what did the purple horse say to the goat? horses don't talk....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops