Ed Milliband knows what's best for the UK.

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Why did the man fall over? He was blind.

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What's the same about a clown and a knife? They are both fun, except for the clown. I hate clowns.

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Q: What happens after you have sex with Michelle Obama? A: You wake up and kill yourself.

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Why did the Elf stab the Gnome? Because I was on a bad acid trip.

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three people walked into a bar and there was a blackman,a jew,a white man and a nazi bartendor which ones did he shoot? The black and the jew and the white man

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Ben: do you want to hear a joke. jack: yh go on then, i bet its funny. Ben: Your future.

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how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? 7

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Sex education in Texas.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was food on the other side

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Why did Rachel fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Rachel.

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knock knock. who's there? me. me who? shut up im robbing you.

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your momma is so stupid shes fricken retarded

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What would George Washington be doing if he was alive today? Scratching and screaming at the bottom of his coffin.

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Dumbledore dies.

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Roses are red, Violets are violet,

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What's brown and sticky? Shit.

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women are like puzzles because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote, puzzles still don't.

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Who keeps his best friend in a gun rack? a red neck.

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How do you make a baby float? Two scopes of Ice cream and two scopes of baby.....and the holocaust.

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Cannot tell, national security. As far as I care we are friends, therefore I cannot continue chatting with you for a while, its gonna seem pretty damn suspicious, I wont be repeating myself. Except again, do not worry, we will take care of this, and if not, I will contact you, you are not in any danger for the mean being, whoever are against us are looking for "Nero", not you, and I am pretty damn safe. By the way, I never lost an eye, but your "wiz" revealed himself by sharing that information, that part was the only ploy as far as I care, and it was necessary for everybody`s survival. Do not worry friend, I will call you sometime, but I recommend we stay off touch for at least 3 months, and that you stop using this site.

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A cricket walks into a bar and the bartender says,"Hey, we have a drink named after you!' and the cricket says,"Oh really? You have a drink named Joe?"

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A pilot.

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1)Where do you find a turtle with no legs? 2)Where? 1)Where you left it. 1)... Knock Knock... 2)Who's there? 1)...Not the turtle...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops