What do you get if you cross a river with a cat? Wet.

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A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

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What did the waiter say to an overweight customer? May I take your order?

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A: Knock Knock. B:Whose there? A:Jehovah witness!

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What's the funniest part of a tomato? The skin.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke-'er-face

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Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no sense Microwave

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because it lacked the requisite musculature to facilitate locomotion

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What's Arabs' cutlery? Bread

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender then asks him "Why the long face?" The horse then gives the bartender an unwilling look as he walks to the other side of the bar where several people leave due to potential danger in the situation.

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How do you stop birds from building nests in your grill? You turn the grill on

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What's the difference between 10 dead baby's and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

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What's smaller then a midget? A baby midget.

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I put the word **** in a post. Anti Joke starred it and the joke didn't make sense anymore.

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What did the blonde do when she reached the traffic lights? She stopped, as the lights were red.

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What's a black man's favorite fruit? Clementines.

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Yesterday I saw a black kid outrun a white kid know why? Because the white kid was a cripple

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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If a white person and black person have a baby, what colour is the baby? Grey

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Why doesn't Helen Keller know how to drive? because she's a woman.

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how do you make an idiot laugh? tell him a joke from antijoke

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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At least now we know, that most people are not like that, and with that sentence, my desire to see humanity as a whole happy, is dead. Thank you, you have made me realize that for each and every thing positive I have found within myself, I believed that I was simply learning more about how to be an average human being. I admire you, yet as painful it feels not to deny the truth, much of what I admire within you, reminds me of my self. Share that money with me, but as a gift, not as a contract, as a friend, not as someone buying me out, because my values might not be much, but for now, its what remains of the world I sought to create. Let us speak some other time, It was nice meeting you again Red, you always dig your way into my core, where I discover that I am stuck in life because I still sad deep inside, and then you take some of that sadness away.

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why did the girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? A wheelchair

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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