What is black and white and red all over? A road killed zebra.

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A frog walked into a bar. Except by frog I meant Frenchman, and by bar I meant English pub. The Englishmen in the bar kill the Frenchman in a display of territoriality.

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what is red and can grow hair water i lied about it growing hair and that it is red

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What did Kermit the frog say at Jim Henson's funeral? Nothing.

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What's bad about being a ghost with no arms or legs? You're dead.

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What happened to the toddler on the swing? She was left unatended and was raped.

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what can jump higher than a tree? anything that can jump because everyone knows that trees cannot jump.

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If Voldemort was gay who would be his partner? Happy potter

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Why isn't this joke funny? Because it has no point.

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What do a cow girl and an orange have in common? They all are fruit, except for the cowgirl.

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Did you hear about the one about the man who walked into the library? He likes reading

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Why did the boy eat the worm? Because his parents were starving him, and it was all he had.

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What do you call a lump on your penis? STD

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What's a Hillbilly's last words? I won't be here much longer, so take care of the kids. I love you.

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what did the soccer player say when he missed a penalty? damnit.

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Knock knock Come in

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Why did the man cross the road? To get to the homeless shelter.

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A hairy monster walks into a bar. It was halloween.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What happens when a man runs naked into a bank? He doesn't get service because he isn't wearing shoes or a shirt

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What do you call a black man in space An astronaut

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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