Q: Whats the biggest lie? A: The Cake...

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Just got back from the corner store. Bought 3 corners.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poems, Show me your tits.

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what do JFK, plato, and a dead penguin have in common? theyre all dead.

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What is a slave fighting in a pit of Rome? Just a slave. Who cares?

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A young girl walks into a dark alley. She emerges a few minutes later unharmed and goes about her day.

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It's so hot even chuck noris can't withstand this shit.

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why did the mokey fall out of the tree because it was dead.

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Why was six afraid of seven. It wasnt because numbers cant possible show emotions. I

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What did jesus REALLY say while walking on water? "I really hope I find a nice patch of sand to swim in."

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How did the jew win a marathon? Through hard vigorous training by running everyday and eating healthy.

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A blonde, ginger, and brunette took the SAT. They all performed successfully and were admitted into their colleges of choice.

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Sometimes I wonder; why is that frisbee getting closer? Then it hits me. Someone just threw a frisbee at me.

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What is the difference between a feminist and a gun? A gun only has one trigger

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what happened when the sports mascot ate a bean and cheese burrito? he shat inside his costume and got fired.

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What happens when you divide by 0? Sadly, you don't.

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There is a 5 second long and extremely depressing video, most cant watch it for any longer than 6 seconds

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What does Pluto and a creamsicle have in common? Neither of them are a planet.

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An Asian, white, and a black man decide to play Russian Roulette. The Asian goes first and shoots himself in the head. The white man picks up the gun for his turn. The black man runs down the street screaming. Cops see him and the white man holding the gun, both are sent to jail for life for the murder of their friend.

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A psychotic man walks into a pharmacy He buys his weekly medication to control his condition.

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Why was the pig squealing? Because all four of its legs were tied together and it was about to have it's head chopped off so the meat could be processed for people to enjoy.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Well...here's how it went. It was a rainy Sunday evening. Seven felt like he wasn't cared for and unneeded. Two and Four tried talking to him, but that might have set him off. I just left a deli with my friend Three, and as soon as we leave, I see Seven, with a 45 to his head speeding down the alley. Causing mass commotion, he careens to the right a split second before hitting pedestrians. At the sight of that, I knew he was still in control. I call him on my smartphone and tell him to "Relax, park, and I'll meet you in a minute." I run up the side of the pickup, and lean in on the window. He pulls it down and I tell him that it isn't over, and that we DO care for him. One, Five, and Ten were run over though. Oh, and Seven ate Nine too. He was depressed when he did it.

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What happened when a black lady sat in the front on a bus? She didn't vomit because she could see the road, which helped with her motion sickness. Also the driver got in a better mood because he had company, and the lady was a pleasant person.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don't know. It depends how high the light is.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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