If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

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Your at your local street corner and find a woman, the fact that she has balls dose not stop you from inviting her into your car.

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Accept for cancer.

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Turn your Caps Lock off, people think you're yelling at them, Stephen Hawking.

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What the the Tyrannosaurus say to the chicken? Dinosaurs are extinct and even if they were not, it would not say anything to a domestic fowl, it would most likely devour it with one bite.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monekey fall out of the tree? It thought it was a game. Why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the girl fall of of her bike? She was hit by three monkeys and a refridgerator

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A Cheerio is at Cheerio high school, and there is another Cheerio that he wants to ask to the prom, but she is a frosted Cheerio and because of Cheerio social statuses she would not go with him. So he goes to the Cheerio factory so he can become a frosted Cheerio. The factory workers tell him that he can be a frosted Cheerio, but the machines are malfunctioning today and they can only frost half of him. He agrees, and the girl Cheerio goes to the prom with him. He shows up at the prom with her, and she asks him to get her some punch. So, he's walking around, looking for the punch line, when he realizes: There isn't any.

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"Hey Jeff, how are you?" "Yes."

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Who cured cancer? Not God. What do you think of the almighty now?

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A guy wants to build his house out of bricks. So, he hires some experts and they build his house with bricks.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he had poor coordination.

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? My ass.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

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Hey guess whats funny? Matthew Mcconaughey Oh wait, never mind

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What is the best part about having sex with tweny-six year olds. There are twenty of them. ap~pac

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Whats the difference between a cow and another cow Help my dogs eating me

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batman has diarrhea

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knock knock whos there i have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's who Cream cheese

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Maybe You'll Find Someone Else To Help You... Maybe Black Mesa... That Was A Joke...Haha...Fat Chance...

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What is worse than a case of the flu? Finding a dead camel on the highway with a half eaten lollipop in its mouth.

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whats brown and booky a book.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing

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Your momma's so fat she has diabetes.

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What disease did Harry Styles get? 1Infection! (if you don't know, Harry Styles is 1direction's manager)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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