Did you hear about the kidnapping yesterday? He slept for at least 3 hours.

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The NBA lockout

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Inquiry: After the specially hired detective in shades of black had managed to finish his secret investigation of the crime scene, what significant affair did he demand and expect to subsequently occur next in the logical chain of events? Answer: A specific transaction of money. To elaborate, immediate providance of previously allotted recompense in the particular configuration of myriad pristine wads of cash.

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Why can't Michael Jackson drive? Because he's dead.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender-"Hey we don't serve your kind here!" The duck-"What ducks?" The bartender -"No Jewish"

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What do you call a pig with no arms? A pig, pigs don't have arms

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

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A BABY seal walks into a club

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What happens when you turn back time? You get "emit."

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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Whats the difference between a black man and a pizza? A pizza is an inanimate object, while a black man is a person. racist F.u.c.k.

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-rick:hey wut happens wen i pull this pin -jerry:rick no!!!!! rick then starts to cry as he remembers the tragic accident that caused his friends death,which rick caused

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I need somebody to lean on... ...Because one of my legs was amputated after I was blown up on a mine field in afganistan.

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What looks and sounds just like a seagull ? A seagull.

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What do you call a black person who drives a plane? A pilot.

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up.

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What did the paraplegic boy get for christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish.

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What do you call a man who has reached the highest level of prestige in all Call of Duty games? A Virgin

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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A guy walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"

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A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

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wat does T.J.C.S. Mean? leave an comment to answer

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Q. How many pancakes can fit in a dog house? A. 0. Penguins don't like icecream.

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he wanted to get to the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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