There was an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman... They all died in a horrible train wreck.

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Want to hear a joke about Potassium? So do I.

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Why did the boy kill his father? Because he was molesting him.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't.

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Why did the man scream? He got his dick caught. In the zipper.

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wats worse than gettin bitched at by ur mom? gettin raped by a giant scorpian n getting SUPER ULTRA MEGA AIDS

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Your carpol will be here soon! What a pool for cars is coming?

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women sitting on a bench quietly. they have no ability to speak.

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hrih

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Why did the kitten die? Because your mom is gay.

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What are corpses favorite form of entertainment? nothing, there dead.

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Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. Grandma's dead. call the paramedics.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Q. why can't hellen keller drive? A. because she is dead

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Why did Aodhan not come into school? He was sick.

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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Why don't Polish girls swim in the sea? The only sea that Poland borders on is the Baltic. Throughout most of the year this sea is too cold to comfortably swim in.

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knock knock. I have a doorbell, you don't have to knock.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Come in" "Come in who?"

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. The single celled amoeba. As billions of years passed, the simple amoeba began to form limbs which it utilized to crawl its way out of the ocean onto dry land. Millions of years would pass before the simplified organism began to develop into a fully functional chicken.

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3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. Midgets are capable of doing an average person's everyday task. Unless they have autism, then they might as well die.

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Roses are Red Voilets are Red I am Red I am Dead

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Whats the difference between a new ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a new ferrari in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops