whats the fastest way to be murdered tell your wife your cheating on her

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what happens when a hamster bites your arm? your arm bleeds

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What's the difference between a Lawyer and a hooker? Job description, income, and an incredibly large list of other things.

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head on into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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A man walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "What'll you have?" The man replies "Surprise me." The bartender proceeds to mix cyanide with the mans drink and loses his bartending license and goes to prison for murdering a customer.

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What's black and white and red all over? A Nazi banner.

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I have magical powers. Try your best to not to follow these instructions: Ready? Go. You are now blinking your eyes. (strike 1) You are now breathing voluntary. (strike 2) You suddenly have an itch somewhere on your body. (strike 3) You lost. Thanks for playing my little game. Hope you enjoy thinking of a flying pink elephant with wings.

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What's green and has wheels? The Holocaust. I lied about everything.

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A man walks into a bar. The other patrons suddenly start to run away screaming, because he had just been hit by a bus.

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A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Hey, 2 beers please" The bartender asks why he is ordering two, as he is alone. The man replies "There is a taxi waiting for me outside."

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Why haven't any women go to the moon? Cause it still doesn't need cleaning.

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Q: What did the black guy say to the white guy? A: Nothing, he's a mute.

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A black man got sentenced go prison for stealing a car. He didn't do it.

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A girl hands her boyfriend her phone and says it's his dad. He throws it on the ground exclaiming, "My dad's not a phone, duh!"

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Q: The president is driving down the road, when the wheels of his boat fall off. How many ping pong balls does it take to fill the Empire State Building? A: False. Vests don't have sleeves.

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how do you get 20 people in a mini? open the door would be a good start but i dont think they will all fit.

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A man is walking in a bar and then leaves once he gets his drink

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple this joke.

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i like my coffee like i like my women ... with big titis

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What did the Spanish immigrant say? Olah.

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Whats green and fluffy? Your mom.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, He has died, And now will you,

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what do you call a baby with no arms and no legs in a mailbox? a horriffic murder

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What did one penguin say to the other Nothing, penguins don't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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