What is the similarety between a car and a banana? Both starts with B

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What do you call a fly with no wings? Joseph

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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A teenage boy walks into a bar, he doesn't even know he's slowly drinking his life away

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As a teen girl was walking through the perfume shop, she picked up one called, "Swirly Paradise." She sprayed it on her and sniffed the sweet scent. Suddenly, the world spun around and she suddenly woke up inside an empty bra. A mouse sniffed her and ate her alive.

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What happened to the boy when he did nothing? The game.

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Have Alzheimers, Cheese on Toast.

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Runescape.

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what's the difference between natives and dogs? people enjoy having dogs in their houses

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A priest and a bunch of boys are in a room. They are having choir practice.

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Q: Whats Faster than a bullet A: A Jew chasing coin

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3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

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What is worse than finding a dead mouse in your loaf of bread? A lot of things since you were able to sue the bread company for tens of thousands of dollars.

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poo poo you you doo doo too too

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Why did the man go to jail? He abused and later murdered his spouse.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says its getting hot in here the other muffin say holy shit a talking muffin.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Boo Boo Who? Boo Smith, I'm the town rapist.

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Once there was two fish in a tank, and one said "how do you drive this thing?".

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What do you call a man with a sack of money running from a bank? A rich man.

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person 1 - what's big, green and ugly? person 2 - don't know. what's big, green and ugly? person 1 - nothing is

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A girl walks into a bar she is then drugged, raped and left in a back alley. To this day she still has psychological issues that are directly related to this event

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Your momma's so ugly she adopted you because she had a problem attracting men.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he wanted to get to the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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