Why did the black man run when he heard police sirens? Because he was parked in a handicap spot

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Q. what has 2 tums and a boner. A. a horny guy <3

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What's black and white and red all over? A Nazi banner.

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Q. How can you find true love? A. Google it...duh

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why did the man get a divorce? Because his wife had an affair.

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What starts with Pu and ends with Y, And homosexuals tend not to like them. "Pushy" People.

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Why can't helen keller drive a car? Because she is a woman

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What do owls and cars have in common? Nothing.

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Freeza: I am the strongest in the universe! (if you ignore my brother Coola which is much stronger and all...) Goku: You have pissed me off now Freeza, I will now turn into a super Asian and prove to the world that real Asians are actually blonde and blue eyed! (I am sure Goku means Sayans, which is "completely different") Goku: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARG! Freeza: Omg, he... he... is trying to take a dump! IMPOSSIBLE! I will have to find his balls and caress them... Will Goku ever take a shit? Or reach all new levels of constipation during the series? Find out in the next episode of dragon ball z!

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If you add two 1's together its 11 if you add two 2's together its 22 If you add two 3's together its 33 So what happens if you add 4 and 4? No you dumb-ass its not 44, its 8

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I walked up to the door and I asked the door how r u door, and he said, I'm a door!

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle

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What did the mother give her family on christmas? Some gelt, dreidels, and Challah because it also happened to be Chanukah on Christmas that year

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Did you hear about the guy who got his whole left side cut off? Now he is dead..

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A black man is sitting in front of the bus Then he respectfully gives up his seat to an elder woman

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Girlfriend: Hey, you know whats the cutest thing ever? COMIC SANS Stabs girlfriend in the eyes.

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Brett Favre sent me a pic of his penis. I then compared it to my own and felt good about my general ackage size

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What does an Irishman say to you in the morning? Nothing because you only speak French.

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What happened to the man who ate a piece of pizza after doing a lot of sit ups, while rubbing the belly of a fat man, and feeding his baby at the same time? He Lived

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Why does Billy Mays yell? He doesn't, he's dead.

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Did you know that Obama wasn't born in the United States*? *the contiguous United States

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, whereas Michael Jackson was a singer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Cause he wanted to

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What do you call a cat that gets pushed into the pool? Angry as hell.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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