How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb? None, any dog aware of the situation would kindly inform its owner.

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What's the difference between a plum and an elephant? They're both purple except for the elephant.

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Why didn't the millionaire jump off the Golden Gate Bridge? He said "I don't have to commit suicide, that's for poor people" (Wyndellberg)

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What do you do when you say shut up to someone and they say make me? Rip out their vocal cords.

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What did all of the blind children sing on the bus ride? Nothing because they drove off a cliff

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The funniest thing about this joke is that by the time you realise it doesn't say anything its to late to stop reading it

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What did the horse with herpes say to Paul? Ney

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4-4-2

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just a man and his thoughts....and a smart phone app, and a loving family, thats not the point.

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96

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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what do you call a bomb in a plane? A dangerous threat to lives

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Q: Whats worst then losing your wallet? A: Giving birth to a dead baby.

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What do you call a chicken with the head of a shark? A genetic anomaly.

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why does breanna love pie? BECAUSE ITS JIMMYS LAST NAME

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How do you make money? Kill babies and sell them.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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What do you call a scottish drunk? a taxi

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A plane crashes in the wilderness on the border of Canada and the U.S. Where do they bury the survivors? I lied. There were none.

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That moment when the best part of your life is when you get 50 friends on Facebook....

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Did you hear about the kid from Oklahoma? Yeah, he died.

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Yo mamas so ugly that when she went to an ugly contest the host said "sorry no Professionals"

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What's brown and sticky? Most forms of excrement.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops