When faced with an impossible question. I like to give, and maybe receive, an impossible, yet endearing, request/answer to the problem. Sex?

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A forty-year-old man forces a young child to strip down and take a shower. The child screams and cries, but the man persists angily. He then carries the child into his bed. The child pleads, "Help! Mom, make him stop!" The mother yells back, "Just listen to him. He's your father and it's past your bedtime." This is a common night-time routine for parents with their first child

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Q: Why was the math book sad? A: Because he recently found out that his parents died in a tragic car accident.

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a man goes for blood check up ..........his whole hand was frozen >>>>the doctor cuts his finger'''''' he comes outside crying n sits in a chair n cries.............]]]]]] the person near him asks him why is he cryin...he says i came 4 my blood test the doctor cut my finger.the person next to him cried aloud......the person asked y r u cryin>>>>>>>>>>i came her 4 my urine test ..........????????lol

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Phil sees a hitchhiker wandering past his car on the sidewalk. He asks Phil if he can take him to his house, and Phil says no, and keeps driving. Six seconds later the hitchhiker is crossing the street in search of somebody else, when he is hit by a bus and dies.

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I see said the blind man, to his deaf wife, as the cripple ran by.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? When you think that there is no worm in your apple, but after your second bite you look down in disgust as you notice you have eaten half of the worm and see the other half wriggling about in your apple.

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Why the West African Rhino is extinct? They were never Horny

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Kids, your mother and I thought we should tell you this now... You know our dog sparky? Well he... was actually Osama bin Laden and is now dead!

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What's did the lizard cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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I like trees. Trees hate you. Bye.

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your mother is so obese, that she really should look into eating a well balanced diet and taking part in an excercise plan that suits her

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darude- sandstorm

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What did the transvestite say to the hypochondriac? "Ever been to Toledo?"

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Why are bacon and eggs good. Because Toasters are silver

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Why did the aeroplane fall out of the sky? An ant jumped on it

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why did the boring girl get ditched she was boring...

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what do you do after throwing a water bottle in the trash? Hug a tree

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A man walked into a bar, He then realised that he was likely to become the butt of a joke quite soon and subsequently left to take his kids to the park.

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Why couldn't the mute kid tell his mom the house was on fire? Casue he fell down the stairs and broke his hands...

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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed? She got kicked in the face by a mule.

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What is the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? I take my cleats off when I jump on trampolines

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How did the blonde die? She got swallowed whole by a 1,000-foot scorpion.

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why did the jew cross the road? He didnt. He got stuck in the wire fence.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops