What did the priest do when he noticed the young boy bent over picking up crayons he had dropped? He helped him pick them up

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My Roomate-(crying in the fetal position for the love of his life has been murderer) Me- (laughing) I have a problem

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How's your mum? she's dead..

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What's 6 inches long, held in your hand, and has a round tip? A pencil you pervert.

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what do you call skiediving? a very fun but moderatly dangerouse sport that many people have fun doing from the ages of 19 to 31

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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping yesterday? He slept for at least 3 hours.

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What's green and has 4 wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Why did the window break? I threw a pig out it.

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

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why did the chicken cross the road ??? why would you care??

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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your mother is so rather large that when she stepped onto a scale, it stated her exact body weight which was 280 pounds. Which come to think of it isn't that big considering that obesity is now the norm and average people are referred to as abnormal.

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's the postman, I have a package you need to sign for.

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What do you get when you cross a rhino and an elephant? Two angry pachyderms.

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What did the dog say to the cat? I have no idea. I wasn't there.

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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How did Hitler make the world a better place? He died.

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what did the little girl do after drinking a smoothie? she choked and died a painful death.

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What do you call a black person who drives a plane? A pilot.

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Q: why did Helen Keller's dog kill himself? A: Because he couldn't stand to see his owner suffer through blindness and deafness and being the butt of hundreds of offensive and hurtful jokes.

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A man walks around a bar.

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a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

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Why was the boy sad? His friend stabbed him with a fork. Also, his mother died. Also, his dad raped him Also, he has a chode. And it really sucks when you have a chode.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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