Why did the deaf man go to the concert? He had recently acquired a brand new hearing aid which meant that he was able to hear much better and decided that he wanted to listen to some music.

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Knock Knock. Martha, get the door I'm watching the game!

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Knock knock Who's there? Timmy Timmy who? Timmy Smith

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine.

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knock knock whos there ? Jordan Jordan who ? Jordan Walters

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My wife's star sign was cancer and it's quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman immediately calls the local stable to report the missing stallion, and his owner promptly arrives to take him home. He thanks the landlord and offers a small reward, but it is respectfully declined.

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What happens when you turn back time? You get "emit."

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What do you call an animal who is purple and feeds on grass? Well his name is Timmy, he is a 6 year old boy and has been diagnosed with a rare deadly disease that turns his skin purple and has removed him so far from reality that he has begin to feed on his front lawn.

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A cow walks into a bar and says, "moo."

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A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

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Whats the difference between a new ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a new ferrari in my garage.

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how do you get expelled? Rape a special ed kid.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Two Jews walk into a bar, and they were both served properly

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here kitty kitty

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One time, I ate 3 chipotle burritos....after a tennis match

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"Ask me if I'm a billboard" "Are you a billboard?" "No"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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What's the difference between me and a dead baby? I'm not dead, or a baby. I am well into my teens and very healthy.

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What's white and moves at a glacial pace? A glacier.

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A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

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How did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Scarlet fever or meningitis.

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Q: Why did the man move out of his house? A: He found another, for a better price.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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