What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt? Getting stabbed.

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A horse walked into a bar, broke its leg and its owner then had to put it down because it was a racing horse and the owner did not have enough money to bring the horse back to health. Fuck you.

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Whats the difference between a new ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a new ferrari in my garage.

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up.

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So there's this mexican with a big sombrero riding a donkey, it was a sunny day and he didn't feel like walking.

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knock knock. who's there pismil pismil who pigsmil cookies

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How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get a ladder and carry him down.

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Want to hear a joke about Potassium? So do I.

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I went to the store and I fell

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How did the cat die? I just it nine times

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Why was the globe sad? Because it was cut in half.

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what's funnier than 1 Mecican? 2 Mexicans

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Two muffins are in an oven. They are then baked at 375 for about 30 minutes and then taken out to cool.

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An English man a Scotts man and an Irish man buy a helicopter between them,they go to pick it up after paying for it and realise that non of them can fly it. so they get a refund and go to the pub.

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Thomas Hobbes had a good life Actually he was born prematurely which caused his mother to die, and his alcohallic father left him at a young age to an abusive older brother sucks to suck Hobbes, at least you were smart

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The Holocaust

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What do you get when you cross a pelican with a mountain goat? It's hard to say.

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Roses are red Violets are purple I just got raped by a clown

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got hit by a truck

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What did the nurse say to the doctor? Boo-hoo, i was pranked over the phone, i'm gonna kill myself now.

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How do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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roses are red violets are blue you look like a monkey lets take you to the zoo if by chance you try to escape ill take my fist and smash your little monkey face! btw i made this up if you use it ill kick your nuts!!!!

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Women's Rights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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