Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

you say "ask me if im a tree" he says "r u a tree?" you say"no..." then just stare at them

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Cause it looks like you landed on your face.

why were the little boy's clothes all wet? because they found his body in the bottom of a river.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

what did the mexican firefighter name his two sons. Ryan and Mike.......

A Horse walks into a bar and the barman says 'What with the long face?' and the horse replys 'i'm a f*cking horse.'

whats the hardest part of roller skating. Telling your dad that you are gay.

What do you call a black man and woman with a little white girl? A Family.

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I like to sniff your hair when you are asleep.

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They brutally whipped and tortured her.

Why'd the cat have one eye? It got kicked by a goat.

Why did the chicken walk into Mordor? It didn't. One does not simply walk into Mordor.

why did the ginger start crying. because people through bricks at him!

What happens if Pinocchio says "My nose is about to grow." Nothing, Pinocchio was a fictional character created by Walt Disney.

Why Did the baby cross the street? He was stapled to the chicken's back

what do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names.

Inquiry: After the specially hired detective in shades of black had managed to finish his secret investigation of the crime scene, what significant affair did he demand and expect to subsequently occur next in the logical chain of events? Answer: A specific transaction of money. To elaborate, immediate providance of previously allotted recompense in the particular configuration of myriad pristine wads of cash.

Two cannibals are eating around a fire in the jungle, and one turns to the other and says "Does this taste funny to you?" Oh yeah, and they're eating a clown.

I used to be an Adventurer like you... But then I decided that it was a dangerous form of employment and stopped.

Why did the boy cry? Because he was mercilessly beaten by his mother.

Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they are ugly and they smell bad.

A teenage boy walks into a bar, he doesn't even know he's slowly drinking his life away

What's sad about four black people in a Cadillac driving off a cliff? Jerome never wanted it to end like this. James, his best friend, was drunk... Again. That was just the way he was. He got wasted, did something stupid, apologized, and then did it again. But this time, there would be no next time. They were supposed to be going to their graduation party, but instead, James fell asleep at the wheel. The cliff was rapidly approaching, and the doors were locked. All Jerome could do now was pray. Also, the Cadillac costed a lot.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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