A man walks into a bar... and watches the Monday Night Football game with his pals.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Why did the black man shoot everyone? Because he is black

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Why was little timmy's arm crooked His mom tried to pull his arm off.

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Chuck Norris can watch TV.

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Your momma's so ugly that she was worried that she would never marry anyone.

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how do you stop a baby crying hit it with a brick.

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What did the peach say to the apple? Nothing. Peaches can't talk.

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A black man, a Jewish man, and a gay man walk into a bar. They are all good friends who want to enjoy drinks together.

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Why did Michael Jackson ask a Best Buy clerk for the best 3D TV? He didn't ... He's dead.

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What do you call a pig with no arms? A pig, pigs don't have arms

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"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "No."

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

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whats silver and cries? a coin, although it can't cry because its a coin. So it's just silver

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womens sports...

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sargeant John Smith mam. I regret to inform you that your husband died in the line of fire - I'm sorry.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face (pokerface)

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What's the difference between a turtle and a bird? They both fly. Except the turtle.

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape the overwhelming feeling of self doubt created by an abusive drug addicted father which has left him seeking life threatening situations that should never befall a simple chicken.

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So a priest and an atheist sit next to eachother train After talking to eachother for a short period of time, the priest discovers the other man's beliefs and procededs to spend the rest of the ride trying to convert the atheist. Incredibly irritated the atheist gets off the train a stop early to escape the tirade. The next day the atheist sees on tv that the train crashed right after getting off, and the priest is listed amongst the people killed in the accident. He is ecstatic, and says to himself "ha, proof of divine retribution," but then he feels confused because he realizes he doesn't believe in a god...

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Knock Knock, Get the f*ck off my porch

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A man walks into a bar. "Ouch!" he shouted after he stubbed his toe on a table.

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Why did the fireman wear suspenders? To keep his pants up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops