Someone told me once, but i had terrible memory so I had them tell me again.

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Man walks into Malaysian Airlines "Hey, can I have the next flight to--" "This is our only policy! You pay the fare we pick the where."

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A white person went to see Think like a Lady by Steve Harvey.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen and warns him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and otherwise damaging consequences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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Q: Whats worse than being raped by a giant scorpion A: Getting raped by three giant scorpion's

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Here come the elephants over the hill!

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I do not want to know, you want to TELL ME so that I can increase the potency of the hypnotic suggestion by... Lets say... A number that if I said would work instantly? I wrote CONDOMS ARE FOR PUZZIES... Which kinda makes sense... Just a line, from the worst game ever.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Dave. -Dave who? -Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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Why did John fall down the stairs? Because John is a paraplegic and there wasn't a sufficient wheelchair ramp at his access.

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Patient: "Doctor, I have a strawberry stuck in my bum" Doctor: "Well, that's an awfully peculiar place to keep a strawberry. What were you thinking?"

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why dont black people go on cruises? there not falling for that one again

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Science fact: what would happen if you lined up all the veins in your body? You would die.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Not your cheese.

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If life hands you lemons you're probably a hippy because you know someone named 'life'

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Q: What do you call a dog driving a car? A: A dog driving a car.

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What is the difference between a bright red Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Why did the blonde commit suicide? Because she hated her life.

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What is Yellow and American? A yellow american

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what do u call something black and hanging from a tree.............................. a black guy

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Ask me if I like pie. Do you like pie? OF COURSE!!!!!

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What's old and wrinkly? old people

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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why cant black people swim? I dont know but they killed my family

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A bear goes to target, soon after animal control came and put it in a nearby zoo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops