roses ar red violets ar blue i have aids

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A guy wants to build his house out of bricks. So, he hires some experts and they build his house with bricks.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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What did the fish say to the human ? He didn't say anything fish can't speak.

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What does an Israeli gun sound like? Jew, jew, jew, jew, jew

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? Probably 5

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, That's okay, I'm not colourblind.

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Why was Eight in court? He was involved in Nine's horrifying disappearance.

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what's worse than getting cancer.........nothing cancer is a pretty bad thing

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-What do you call a dog with no legs? -Call it whatever you want, it's not coming!

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What's Arabs' cutlery? Bread

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"Hey Jeff, how are you?" "Yes."

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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Why did Johnny's pants fall down? Because he was fat.

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SOY COMO SOY Y ME ENCANTA SI NO ME VALORAS ESE ES TU PEDO

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Holocaust. I was too lazy to make it complete, so enjoy the punchline and comment your own question. It will probably be funnier.

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If your Uncle Jack helped you off an elephant, would you help your Uncle jackoff an elephant? Probably not because it would take more than 3 hands to jack off an elephant P.S. Your Uncle Jack only has 1 hand. Your uncle was on a swing and a clown cut off his hand with an ax

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Why did the gay man not walk straight? Because I took a jack hammer to his foot

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4 gay guys walk into a bar but there is only one bar stool, where do they sit? They go to a different bar

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: He has a debilitating disease, it's called ALS.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have cancer, Herp Derp

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Knock knock. Who's there? You. You who? Fuck you.

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Whats worse than being bored, Being you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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