- Anti Joke

A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

Knock knock Who's there? The chicken that crossed the road

How do you make an elf sad? Murder his family.

Roses are red Violets are red Bushes are red Why's my garden on fire?

Knock knock whos there Ewan Gudgeon Shoots Himself cause cannot live with hearing tht name

What did one cannibal say to the other while they were eating a clown? Well, I couldn't understand them... It's hard to pronounce anything clearly when your mouth is full, which is why you don't eat and speak simultaneously.

How do you stop a car from hitting a kid? You don't.

Knock knock Who's there? Prosti Prosti who? Prostitute

Why was Luke named Luke Skywalker? Because he walks to skies.

A white man walks into an elementary school. He was the teacher.

Q.If I have four apples and billy has 4 oranges, how many pancakes will fit on the roof. A. 3 because aliens like purple hats.

What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? gloves.

I bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands, when they first came out. Well, I say bought. I actually stole it from a short, fat ginger kid.

The Earth is a nice place to live.

SCENE: A prirate walks into a bar with the wheel of the ship attached to his pants. BARTENDER: Doesn't that hurt? PIRATE: Aye! It drives me nuts.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What do 69 and 420 have in common? That was my score on my Math final:(

What do Australians and New Zealanders have against pods anyway?

a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

Why did the black guy punch the white guy? They were both professional boxers.

ROSES ARE RED, VIOLETS ARE BLUE, WITHOUT MY HEART I CANNOT LOVE YOU

"I never want to see you again!" shouted Stevie Wonder to the genie in the bottle, as a young boy.

A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

Knock knock Who's there? The chicken that crossed the road

How do you make an elf sad? Murder his family.

Roses are red Violets are red Bushes are red Why's my garden on fire?

Knock knock whos there Ewan Gudgeon Shoots Himself cause cannot live with hearing tht name

What did one cannibal say to the other while they were eating a clown? Well, I couldn't understand them... It's hard to pronounce anything clearly when your mouth is full, which is why you don't eat and speak simultaneously.

How do you stop a car from hitting a kid? You don't.

Knock knock Who's there? Prosti Prosti who? Prostitute

Why was Luke named Luke Skywalker? Because he walks to skies.

A white man walks into an elementary school. He was the teacher.

I once did something.

Q.If I have four apples and billy has 4 oranges, how many pancakes will fit on the roof. A. 3 because aliens like purple hats.

What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? gloves.

I bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands, when they first came out. Well, I say bought. I actually stole it from a short, fat ginger kid.

The Earth is a nice place to live.

Irish sobriety

SCENE: A prirate walks into a bar with the wheel of the ship attached to his pants. BARTENDER: Doesn't that hurt? PIRATE: Aye! It drives me nuts.

Racial equality.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

What do 69 and 420 have in common? That was my score on my Math final:(

What do Australians and New Zealanders have against pods anyway?

a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

Why did the black guy punch the white guy? They were both professional boxers.

ROSES ARE RED, VIOLETS ARE BLUE, WITHOUT MY HEART I CANNOT LOVE YOU

"I never want to see you again!" shouted Stevie Wonder to the genie in the bottle, as a young boy.

A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

Knock knock Who's there? The chicken that crossed the road

How do you make an elf sad? Murder his family.

Roses are red Violets are red Bushes are red Why's my garden on fire?

Knock knock whos there Ewan Gudgeon *Shoots Himself cause cannot live with hearing tht name*

What did one cannibal say to the other while they were eating a clown? Well, I couldn't understand them... It's hard to pronounce anything clearly when your mouth is full, which is why you don't eat and speak simultaneously.

How do you stop a car from hitting a kid? You don't.

Knock knock Who's there? Prosti Prosti who? Prostitute

Why was Luke named Luke Skywalker? Because he walks to skies.

A white man walks into an elementary school. He was the teacher.

I once did something.

Q.If I have four apples and billy has 4 oranges, how many pancakes will fit on the roof. A. 3 because aliens like purple hats.

What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? gloves.

I bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands, when they first came out. Well, I say bought. I actually stole it from a short, fat ginger kid.

The Earth is a nice place to live.

Irish sobriety

SCENE: A prirate walks into a bar with the wheel of the ship attached to his pants. BARTENDER: Doesn't that hurt? PIRATE: Aye! It drives me nuts.

Racial equality.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

Knock knock whos there Ewan Gudgeon Shoots Himself cause cannot live with hearing tht name