What did Santa say to the prostitute? "Merry Christmas!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because a man holding a shotgun was chasing him

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? The pilot. You racist.

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What do you call a blue horse with two legs and five eyes? A blue horse with two legs and five eyes.

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Hello.

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What did the Irish nun say on her deathbed? "I now realize that smoking was an unhealthy habit and I regret that I made the choice to do so." Then she died

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How many dueche bags does it take to change a light bulb? 0 They're two complete unrelated things

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Your mother's so ugly she has low self-esteem

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pleas help someone is in my house i think hes trying to kill me i'm not even joking.

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Whats worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Having a Hippo give you head.

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What do you call Mexicans who go to jail? Criminals.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm wearing pants and I'm hungry

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A blue whale walks into a bar. The bartender says "What can I get for you?" The blue whale says "EEEEEEYYYYYYYOOOOHHHHHMMMMMMM"

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Every day thousands of pets and animals are beaten, neglected and abused.

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are you from hawaii? because your the only ten I see

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What did the cow say to the horse? Mooo

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Why was the Black Boy shot? It was because he was walking alone at night in a dangerous neighborhood, where there are many gangs. People should know not to go alone at night in dangerous places, or even in the day.

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why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead How did the second koala fall out of the tree? it was hit by the first one how did the third koala fall out of the tree? it thought it was a game and jumped off

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at his genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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Random link time! http://www.booksie.com/thrillers/novel/declan_mckimm/pure-evil

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What do you call a handsome nerd? The name that is on his birth certificate.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, Oh shit, my garden is on fire

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Why was the mime crying? Her husband died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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